I saw her eyes in the Fountain today, round’ them wove shimmering colors,
They bathed in the bright sunlight and played happily in the bubbly spray.
In my mind she ran and played mingling with Gods and Myth and invisible others,
Living and laughing with smile-so bright, a being beaming with lambent light-
Her eyes were in the Fountain today.
The Fountain started my daydream, brought these thoughts of her so far away,
Could there be a hint of truth in the water aloof, Something more than it seems?
The dancing light gives no hint to what it means. Should I go to her, should I stay?
I have no reason to go, no truth, no proof. No reason to risk seeming uncouth-
The Fountain started this daydream.
I am still lost in my own mind, chasing her through the inner annals of my time,
She barely knows me, probably doesn’t care about me or my silly rhymes.
And to that, I always find that she is so far away- I think in time I’ll be fine.
She definitely wouldn’t care to see me, and cares not for my dreaming-
So why am I still lost in my mind?
From Her, I can see there is no escape, The rainbow in the fountain still has her eyes,
I need to see her, to stop my rampant thoughts and find a way that I can relate
To her the problems of my state, How sundown is a painting of her eyes,
How her voice is softer than the downiest fur and to my myself I concur-
I can see there is no escape!
And now to still the beating of my heart from this moment that made me so unsure,
I dial so innocently into my phone, knowing that surely I would have to do my part.
Now so near yet so far apart, I said silently to myself that this would surely be my cure,
But my hopes fell to a lingering tone that to this coward who by beauty is cowed-
Stilled the beating of his heart.
I saw her eyes in the Fountain today, round’ them wove shimmering colors.
They bathed in the bright sunlight and played happily in the bubbly spray.
In my mind, I felt betrayed, knowing that she would fall to the charms of others,
But I would try again uselessly, hopelessly , and love her endlessly, dependently
Her eyes will never go away.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
New Post - The Fountain
Here's another poem that I roughed out and that needs to be messed with. It's called The Fountain, and is about a daydream that happened when I was looking at the huge fountain in the center of my university.
It's pretty good, but needs to retooling.
It's pretty good, but needs to retooling.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Welcome!
To all who saw my advertisements at the Muddy Cup, I welcome you to my small poetry blog. There are lots of posts containing old poetry and things of that sort. If you enjoy that sort of thing, feel free to look around and comment! There are lots of things in store for this blog, so feel free to keep checking back and see what's new.
Third Draft - Oh You!
Oh you, possessed of such a tempting grace,
moving so sublimely through star-struck space;
Can I ask of you this quiet question-
Why do those sad tears frame that flawless face?
What’s the reason for that couture lesson
that laces your well-controlled complexion?
Have you, through some finally-found fancy
been shown the harsh meaning of rejection?
Maybe, you dreamt of a light romancing
Under the moons bright, fatal faerie-fire
Its sight telling tales of your desire,
Your sad love ethereal- Transient?
No? I didn’t think that the murky mire
That we call “Love” would have you trapped today-
To make such stories of these fallen fae,
As an excuse to perform worn word-play
Or! Maybe, it’s some other telling tale
That put you into this unjust travail-
And left you with those mislaid shining streaks
Across a face falling pallid and pale.
Had your plans reached the goal, that high peak,
Then plunged; wasted - leaving you worn and weak
With no way out, no truly clear choices,
No way to gain the happiness you seek?
Did you want a house with joyful voices,
A backyard echoing lilting laughter?
Has some callous event foreclosed that chapter
Filling your soul with some private poison?
No, I don’t think that’s what I‘m after.
You’re not being held by some coarse constraint-
Nor your body filled with some tragic taint
that would leave you so faltering and faint.
Do you long for adventuresome release,
Your daily work having no such surcease-
And staring entranced-so at the stratus,
You dream of those mighty in name and deed?
Those stories, the ones that you always read-
Do they make you long for that single pleasure,
Proof of beauty and things unseen, proof of need-
Proof of some fantasy beyond measure?
Don’t lose faith in finding the forever,
The sacrosanct is in those clouds so rare.
And magic is there, suspended in air-
As long as you don’t consider never.
Maybe, I could help in your endeavor,
Together, a meeting of star-bright minds-
Rhyme after rhyme, perhaps we will find
A path that will meld fantasy and time.
So Lady, giving thought where it’s due, then
I can only tell you this Plight of Men
And be it my damning declaration,
I will never let you be hurt again!
You will never want for stone or station,
Nor need to seek some other relation.
If the dreary dusk deigned to mar your mood,
To make a Sun, I’d master creation!
To your beauty I would always allude,
(The runic tint to those even-ether eyes)
No comparison would bespeak of lies;
Only to the lay does the truth elude –
So Lady, let my love for you give rise,
To the dawning of our sublunary Sun!
For you; My suitors pledge that come what come,
On my honor, my life; Thy will be done!
moving so sublimely through star-struck space;
Can I ask of you this quiet question-
Why do those sad tears frame that flawless face?
What’s the reason for that couture lesson
that laces your well-controlled complexion?
Have you, through some finally-found fancy
been shown the harsh meaning of rejection?
Maybe, you dreamt of a light romancing
Under the moons bright, fatal faerie-fire
Its sight telling tales of your desire,
Your sad love ethereal- Transient?
No? I didn’t think that the murky mire
That we call “Love” would have you trapped today-
To make such stories of these fallen fae,
As an excuse to perform worn word-play
Or! Maybe, it’s some other telling tale
That put you into this unjust travail-
And left you with those mislaid shining streaks
Across a face falling pallid and pale.
Had your plans reached the goal, that high peak,
Then plunged; wasted - leaving you worn and weak
With no way out, no truly clear choices,
No way to gain the happiness you seek?
Did you want a house with joyful voices,
A backyard echoing lilting laughter?
Has some callous event foreclosed that chapter
Filling your soul with some private poison?
No, I don’t think that’s what I‘m after.
You’re not being held by some coarse constraint-
Nor your body filled with some tragic taint
that would leave you so faltering and faint.
Do you long for adventuresome release,
Your daily work having no such surcease-
And staring entranced-so at the stratus,
You dream of those mighty in name and deed?
Those stories, the ones that you always read-
Do they make you long for that single pleasure,
Proof of beauty and things unseen, proof of need-
Proof of some fantasy beyond measure?
Don’t lose faith in finding the forever,
The sacrosanct is in those clouds so rare.
And magic is there, suspended in air-
As long as you don’t consider never.
Maybe, I could help in your endeavor,
Together, a meeting of star-bright minds-
Rhyme after rhyme, perhaps we will find
A path that will meld fantasy and time.
So Lady, giving thought where it’s due, then
I can only tell you this Plight of Men
And be it my damning declaration,
I will never let you be hurt again!
You will never want for stone or station,
Nor need to seek some other relation.
If the dreary dusk deigned to mar your mood,
To make a Sun, I’d master creation!
To your beauty I would always allude,
(The runic tint to those even-ether eyes)
No comparison would bespeak of lies;
Only to the lay does the truth elude –
So Lady, let my love for you give rise,
To the dawning of our sublunary Sun!
For you; My suitors pledge that come what come,
On my honor, my life; Thy will be done!
Revision 3 explanation
I revised the poem to start it on the path to final polishing (hopefully). I added a 4th grouping which is pretty nifty, If I may add. And there is also alot of language tweaking going on. It's starting to come together nicely. As the next step, I might try and add a refrain to the end of each stanza.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
A Man Said to The Universe - Redux
In it's infinite complexity,
I find life to be perplexing,
Confusing in it's slowly hastened worry.
I don't know what to make of it ,
And the answers I try to wring from it,
are met with the reply that I am undeserving.
"You don't make the most of time,
Instead you worry with pursuits of mine,
Are you so blind that you cannot see the truth?
It's not the Universe, God or Faith,
that led you to your solemn place,
It's merely the fact that you're a fool.
The ways of life are not meant for man to rule."
I find life to be perplexing,
Confusing in it's slowly hastened worry.
I don't know what to make of it ,
And the answers I try to wring from it,
are met with the reply that I am undeserving.
"You don't make the most of time,
Instead you worry with pursuits of mine,
Are you so blind that you cannot see the truth?
It's not the Universe, God or Faith,
that led you to your solemn place,
It's merely the fact that you're a fool.
The ways of life are not meant for man to rule."
Second Draft - "Oh, You!"
Oh you, possessed of such a tempting grace,
moving so sublimely through star-struck space;
Can I ask of you this quiet question-
Why do those sad tears frame that flawless face?
What's the reason for the crystal lesson
that streaks your oh-so controlled complexion?
Have you, through some finally found fancy
been taught the meaning of real rejection?
Maybe, you dreamt of a light romancing
Under the moons bright, fatal faerie-fire-
It's sight telling tales - "Twin Desire-
The Story of Helens Doom-Dancing".
No, I didn't think that the murky more
That we call "Love" would have you trapped today-
To make such stories of these fallen fae
As an excuse to perform worn word-play--
--Or! Mayhaps, it's some other telling tale
That put you into this unjust travail-
And left you with those shimmering-so streaks
Across your face (Falling pallid and pale).
Had your well-laid plans reached that mile-high peak
Then plunged; Wasted - Leaving you worn and weak
With no way out, no truly clear choices,
No way to gain the happiness you seek?
Did you want a house with joyful voices,
A backyard echoing lilting laughter?
Has some callous event foreclosed that chapter,
Filling your womb with some private poison?
No, I don't think that's what I'm after.
You're not being held by some coarse constraint-
Nor your body filled with some tragic taint
that would leave you so faltering and faint--
--But Darling - No matter; Your poignant pain
creates such feeling in this simple swain!
And be it my damning declaration,
I will never let you be hurt again!
You will never want for stone or station,
Nor need to seek some other relation.
If the dreary dusk tried to mar your mood,
To make a Sun, I'd master creation!
To your beauty I would always allude,
(The runic tint to those even-ether eyes)
No comparison would bespeak of lies,
Only to the lay does the truth elude-
So Lady, let my love for you give rise,
To the dawning of our sublunary Sun!
For you; My suitors pledge that come what come,
On my honor, my life; They will be done!
moving so sublimely through star-struck space;
Can I ask of you this quiet question-
Why do those sad tears frame that flawless face?
What's the reason for the crystal lesson
that streaks your oh-so controlled complexion?
Have you, through some finally found fancy
been taught the meaning of real rejection?
Maybe, you dreamt of a light romancing
Under the moons bright, fatal faerie-fire-
It's sight telling tales - "Twin Desire-
The Story of Helens Doom-Dancing".
No, I didn't think that the murky more
That we call "Love" would have you trapped today-
To make such stories of these fallen fae
As an excuse to perform worn word-play--
--Or! Mayhaps, it's some other telling tale
That put you into this unjust travail-
And left you with those shimmering-so streaks
Across your face (Falling pallid and pale).
Had your well-laid plans reached that mile-high peak
Then plunged; Wasted - Leaving you worn and weak
With no way out, no truly clear choices,
No way to gain the happiness you seek?
Did you want a house with joyful voices,
A backyard echoing lilting laughter?
Has some callous event foreclosed that chapter,
Filling your womb with some private poison?
No, I don't think that's what I'm after.
You're not being held by some coarse constraint-
Nor your body filled with some tragic taint
that would leave you so faltering and faint--
--But Darling - No matter; Your poignant pain
creates such feeling in this simple swain!
And be it my damning declaration,
I will never let you be hurt again!
You will never want for stone or station,
Nor need to seek some other relation.
If the dreary dusk tried to mar your mood,
To make a Sun, I'd master creation!
To your beauty I would always allude,
(The runic tint to those even-ether eyes)
No comparison would bespeak of lies,
Only to the lay does the truth elude-
So Lady, let my love for you give rise,
To the dawning of our sublunary Sun!
For you; My suitors pledge that come what come,
On my honor, my life; They will be done!
Edit 1 Info
I've finished the first edit. I fixed a few areas where the syllables were out of place and tidied up the language a bit. The alternating verse with the womans point of view was not done well at all. I'm saving it for future use and clarification, but it wasn't working. I'm debating adding another section, because as of right now the rhyme scheme repeats 3 times, and it feels as if it's ending way too soon. I think adding a 4th verse before where the current 3rd starts would create more impact.
I'm thinking of adding a refrain, but I'm not entirely sure where to add it. The womans part was originally intended for that, but failed in it's execution.
Also, I might try to refine the language and add syllable emphasis, but that stuff is really hard and I'm not sure whether my understanding is up to the task. At least I have something to work with though. Alot of things are still up in the air, but here we go - Oh, You! Revision 2!
I'm thinking of adding a refrain, but I'm not entirely sure where to add it. The womans part was originally intended for that, but failed in it's execution.
Also, I might try to refine the language and add syllable emphasis, but that stuff is really hard and I'm not sure whether my understanding is up to the task. At least I have something to work with though. Alot of things are still up in the air, but here we go - Oh, You! Revision 2!
Friday, April 11, 2008
First Draft - "Oh You!"
Oh you, possessed of such tempting grace,
moving so sublimely through star-struck space;
Can I ask of you this quiet question-
Why do those sad tears frame that flawless face?
What’s the reason for the crystal lesson
that streaks your oh-so controlled complexion?
Have you, through some finally-found fancy,
been taught the meaning of real rejection?
Maybe, you dreamt of a light romancing
Under the moons bright, fatal faerie-fire
It’s sight telling tales – “Twin Desire-;
The Story of Helens Doom-Dancing”.
No? I didn’t think that the murky mire
“Love” would have you trapped today-
To make such stories of fallen fae,
As an excuse to perform worn word-play----
[But-
What could you know of Helens heavy heart?
What terrors unearthly beauty endures?
Infinity, My friend, keeps us apart-
And the subtle space grows ever bigger.
----Or! Mayhaps, it’s some other telling tale
That put you into this terse travail-
And left you with those shining streaks
Across your face; Falling pallid and pale.
Had your well-laid plans reached that high peak
Then plunged; Wasted - leaving you worn and weak
With no way out and no clear choices,
No way to gain the happiness you seek?
Did you want a house with joyful voices,
A backyard echoing lilting laughter?
Has some callous event closed that chapter
Filling your womb with some private poison?
No, I don’t think that’s what I‘m after.
You’re not being held by some coarse constraint-
Nor your body filled with some tragic taint
which led to those lines of pearlescent paint---
[Do you truly seek to discover me-
Or are you falling for unearned allure?
The only worth a man can ever see-
And a disease with no easy cure?
And what lessons could you have to teach me?]
---But Darling- No matter; Your poignant pain
creates such feeling in this simple swain!
And be it my damning declaration,
I will never let you be hurt again!
Nor need to seek some other relation.
If the dreary dusk marred your mood,
To make a Sun, I’d master creation!
(The runic tint to those even-ether eyes)
No comparison would bespeak of lies;
Only to the lay does the truth elude –
Something of how to soothe and reassure-
But could you bear it if we were apart?
Are you really certain? Are you so sure?
That somehow you’ve avoided my lure?
How could you speak with such lucidity?!
Or is it me? Am I the one impure…?
Oh you! Possessed so purely by his grace!
How could you love so deeply the surface?!
Your love is divine, a gift for all time-
I’m temporary, I don’t deserve it!
Like all of the others that have flown before.
Born into the curse of my circumstance,
Sorrowing, I await your parting words…. ]
To the dawning of our sublunary Sun!
For you; My suitors pledge that come what come,
On my honor, my life; Thy will be done!
---[At this, Her ethereal eyes filled once again with those starlit tears-
But these… These were tears of joy!]---
My Plan
Well, after reading some more literature, I arrived at a pretty simple conclusion.
Almost all of my writing up to this point has been experimental in nature. I poke around different types of poetry, taking shots at things like having an established meter, form, rhyme scheme etc. Through this process of trial and error, I have decided that I am now prepared to try and start writing SERIOUSLY. So as of this point, the writing in this blog will be me detailing my attempts at working on specific pieces of poetry and all the decisions and revisions that it entails.
I love poetry so much, it shouldn't be just a passing hobby! From here and now, I will try and master my poetic voice and refine it to the point of greatness!
Up next: The first draft of my latest poem, "Oh, You!"
Almost all of my writing up to this point has been experimental in nature. I poke around different types of poetry, taking shots at things like having an established meter, form, rhyme scheme etc. Through this process of trial and error, I have decided that I am now prepared to try and start writing SERIOUSLY. So as of this point, the writing in this blog will be me detailing my attempts at working on specific pieces of poetry and all the decisions and revisions that it entails.
I love poetry so much, it shouldn't be just a passing hobby! From here and now, I will try and master my poetic voice and refine it to the point of greatness!
Up next: The first draft of my latest poem, "Oh, You!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
