It seemed a fading dream, a destruction of my fantasies and all that I held dear - Causing a brief moment of unwarranted true fear in the disguise that never quite hid the lie. Why try? Neon lights lit the meeting, obscuring the darkened sky, while I? I sat and held my pain in check, not wanting their cruise to become my trainwreck and land a wet smarting blow to what I knew was a true-blue friendship. They hugged again, and he played with her hair while she reciprocated with a stare that caused my heart to skip - It wasn't fair!
I tried, but perhaps I did something to cause her to shy away and finally seek solace in this guy who I knew had no intention to hurt me. I joked and played, a master at keeping others away - friendly, but holding them at bay to feelings that had been born that day.
I sipped my drink, and feigned at making merry while I worried that if I should tarry my wall would fall leaving me haggard and harried at the mercy of the public eye. I soon got my wish.
Arm in arm they left the scene, and I soon thereafter and between my breaking dreams and their joyful laughter I departed not wanting anything to do with the matter and better off not knowing what happened after. I got into my car and drove off, chasing my friends and knowing that scene of my life was a closed chapter and worrying about it would only make it worse. Of course, I still think back to that night and it's impact as it shattered an illusion I harbored for no real reason. But the seasons, like the wind change their direction and the summer of my love would give way to the coldness of my winter. But at least the snow allows for a clear reflection, and spring is just around the corner.
So between the tears and ye rosebuds,
I won't gather the fading flowers,
I'll keep my way, won't lose my step-
Nor water my dessicate sorrow.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
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